visions and dreaming of a Toltec Nagual

seeing the light

Losing human form

Our self reflection is literally a mirror through which we observe the soul; while we stare at our own reflection finding wonderment or disappointment with ourselves, the world is there just slightly out of our grasp….. Self reflection is our interpretation of world, it is our description of reality, but seeing the world as through a prism… With the light broken and the image distorted! When we learn to quieten our minds and stop the chattering, we will eventually learn to by-pass this self-reflective process and see the world for what it is, or rather for ‘how’ it is! The truths we find so solid and immovable are rooted in our perception which are in turn informed by our self-reflection!

Losing human form is the term for stepping beyond the bounds of one’s self importance. To be focused upon the self makes one heavy, clumsy, and vain. We always have self interest at the heart of every matter while we consider ourselves to be the most important “person” in the Universe, we will always be hurt, disappointed and abused. Self importance is easily damaged. And then we have to rush to re-establish our status. It’s like a balloon with a slow leak that you must constantly re-inflate and repeat (ad infinitum). It is possible to burst the balloon completely however. The means of eradicating it permanently is possible; but cannot be rushed. The warrior’s act of recapitulation is part of what is involved in eroding self importance. A warrior through the art of not-doing builds up personal power over the course of their lives. As personal power builds gradually throughout the life of the warrior, they will eventually reach one day a tipping point. Don Juan stated that the only resource available for gaining the extra energy needed to reach this escape velocity was through inorganic beings. This is why a warrior stalks his dreams, and the reason he scales the heights of altered consciousness. Dreaming is a gateway for the sorcerer, a place of higher meeting. The inorganic beings are capable of reaching into our dreams. They crave contact with those who choose impeccability. Heightened states of awareness through shamanic practices and the use of power plants; which are of course allies to the man of knowledge, are another means of making contact with the inorganic beings. So a man of knowledge occupies himself with these concepts during his lifetime and heads towards the show down that will ultimately mean the vanquishing of his self importance.

The shift is always a different matter for everyone depending on their predilection. It is rather like trying to crack a rock with water. Ice will do it, it gets into the cracks of the rock, freezes and expands, shattering the rocks solidity. Rushing water will do it, depending on how fast the river is. And dripping water will eventually erode the rock, it is just a matter of time. In the same way self importance holds out and will only be relinquished after a fight. So there are many factors that determine how a warrior will be able to deal self-importance the fatal blow.

It comes down to a moment of transcendence; if you will. A place where personal power has build to such an extent that to all intensive purposes, a warrior is no longer human – hence losing human form! The inorganic energy that a warrior builds up gradually throughout their life, tips the scales. He possess more inorganic energy than human energy, making him something other than human. The luminous cocoon cracks for the third time and he becomes a formless man. Entering into silent knowledge. This term means ultimately having outrun his habits, routines and personal history. At this moment the internal dialogue takes on a different shape. The bias changes. Away from constantly having to work to shut down the internal dialogue to instead internal silence becoming predominate. The internal dialogue collapses, as does the sorcerer’s explanation. At this point – everything will go. The weight of ones Self importance is too great to sustain the description of the world and it collapses.

When this happened to me, I was in a hotel room in Istanbul. Having taken flight across Europe. Through Holland, France, Austria, Hungary, Romania, Greece and then finally via a train to Turkey, I arrived at a ‘fait accompli’. I had no more options left! All the struggles i had endured for a decade had mounted upon me, I felt heavy. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I could no longer fight. No longer could I go forward and nowhere to go back. All the things I was running from at that time seemed a million miles away and yet there I was on the brink of death once again. Ready to put myself out on the boarder between Syria and Turkey – a badlands where terrorists hide out from the security forces. My fate was sealed!

I had no alternative, no more options left. Then suddenly I ‘saw‘. It is always better to be alive than dead, once your dead you have no options left at all. But what could I do? And then it came to me like upon on a wave. I realised there was nothing left I could do but “surrender“. On the  train coming into Istanbul I had been held up in a carriage with several other people. I had heard the ally, he spoke to me and said: “you do still consider me an ally don’t you?” and that was all he said. But from this moment I knew something tumultuous was coming. The event descended upon me as I sat in this hotel room several thousand miles away from all my problems…. And yet there it was – everything still haunting me. But the distance had given me insight, I suddenly saw again that it gave me a chance, a cubic square of opportunity. Which seemed to hover in front of my eyes. I Seized the opportunity. I gave into the moment “ I Surrendered to everything“. I broke into floods of tears, and then I was immediately comforted by a gentle invisible golden rain. I could clearly see falling all around me like a shower of golden speckles.

I sobbed for almost an hour and a half until all my tears seemed to have all been cried. With a renewed vigor, I left the hotel room and set out for the airport. I got my money back off the coach ticket for the journey to Damascus, that I had bought without being able afford the visa ….. this played an important role in the decision I was able to make. So I caught a tram with the money I now had from the ticket and went to the airport with the hope of contacting someone who might be able to assist me with a flight home to face the music. I had a Divorce to go through, I had abandoned my flat and I had a court case pending. But I had transcended everything. Surrendered. I had accepted my fate. I was released from the self importance, that had plagued me for so long. Once this Moment occurs there is no turning back. My integrity returned to me and I was reconstructed. My luminous being for the first time in years was en-tact. I thought I had done all the crying I was going to do, but instead I would uncontrollably burst into tears at the drop of a hat. This was pretty awkward for me as I had to stay four days in the airport, till I summoned up the courage to phone someone, I knew to beg for money for the flight home. I cried much of the plane ride home as well, staring out the windows as to not attract attention to my self. To remain unavailable, you understand.

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“Knowledge comes to a warrior, floating, like specks of gold dust, the same dust that covers the wings of moths. So for a warrior, knowledge is like taking a shower, or being rained on by specks of dark gold dust.” Don Juan Matus


The definitive Journey:

We are part of the cosmic consciousness. We are given a portion of this awareness with which to develop and enrich the energy we are bestowed. Through our experience and through the knowledge we gain in particular, this awareness becomes built upon. Our evolution is the collective process of the development of this awareness from a universal stand point. We are born of the infinite source, and we return to the place from which we emerge. Only through developing some means of retaining our portion of this consciousness, can we hope to reclaim our existence. Our purpose and the only thing which brings meaning to our lives is our struggle to survive the destructive process of our return to the source – and to maintain our awareness even after death. TW

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The Inorganic Beings

The inorganic beings are our counter-part, our twin flame, “our cousins” the ‘manikiri’ (The invisible ones). They are first order creators and make all activities for the warrior possible. When one starts out on the warrior’s path we accept this arrangement. For a warrior there is agreement – an exchange of energy for awareness. The mistake comes when they are thought to be something alien. When we are out of step with the spirit – this is when the problems arise. The inorganic beings are impeccable entities and flow within structure of awareness. We can only hope to know the rolling and tumbling force. The spirit is far more intimately acquainted with what is going on. There is always a difficulty in applying lightness and fluidity to all situations. But the spinning of the inorganic being’s is the issue. They twirl the world everything around them – you into the bargain – this is the testing of the spirit. They throw our assemblage points into new strange locations, and unhook us from reality. How do we resolve the dilemma of the Flyer’s mind? And how do we integrate these beings into our lives as a concept and a reality – it is a matter of acceptance. Accept their presence. Like the alchemist we need to transmute fear into love. A movement away from and a rejection of hate. Fear to ▲ Love ▲ Power ▲ Knowledge… The somersault of thought into the inconceivable – ‘mind over matter’ & ‘matter over mind ‘- And rather than there being a predatory flyer with the rejection of the interference pattern, there is instead an ally. When one starts out on the warrior’s path we make an arrangement with these beings whether we are aware of it or not. But forget the fear. The agreement is one of synergy. Rather than being a host and a predatory flyer, there instead becomes a symbiosis – and in this way the rule can be manifested.

Allies


The Flyers mind

The Flyers mind is the edge of darkness, the emergence of doubt, the edge of the camp fire light somewhere beyond the circle of the known, where the light protrudes into the darkness.

The Flyer’s Mind is the thing which pins us to the spot. It is the barrier of perception. It is our self-pity, our indulgence, our self-importance. It keeps us in the place of not knowing.

Human form is the illusion, everything which flows forth from human form is as a result of our self-reflection. All rules everything which inhibits or restricts our true nature is an aspect of human form. Once we enter the kingdom of the unknown, the forces we experience there for an instant seem somehow malevolent or benign, but this duality is born of our flyers mind, the thing that brings us back to reason.

There is a thread which runs through our lives. As we emerge into the world from the place of spirit, this link with intent is stretched and strained. We become a reflection of our surroundings; imprinted, embedded, indoctrinated and bound. We learn reason and rationality and everything is separated and divided. The magical world we experienced in our childhood ~ is now gone. We are instead taught to get to grips with that which is known…

The flyers mind is our fear, our continued connection with this known reality, a harking back to a place which may have never existed in the first place – a reliance and reluctance to be free from human form – from the illusion of ourselves – the misguided belief that we are indeed in possession of all the facts…

If we brace ourselves and set out into the darkness, the barriers of our perception; that which ties us to the world, are automatically broken down.

Venturing into the unknown we become aware there are realms even beyond the capability of our understanding, this leaves us with nothing left to cling to, not even our humanity. In the world of energy there is no right or wrong, dark or light, there is only energy – everything an expression of its polar opposite/counterpart.

The flyer mind, our predator is not something to be feared or reviled, the trickster is simply a reflection of our mind. The worthy opponent is our unflinching adversary and our only true guide.


Breaking the ties with Perception

In the first place to see beyond the illusion, is to not trust perception. To understand that the world is a description; a form of language created by the thought of self-reflection. And knowing that by ending this internal dialogue, in order to enter into inner silence and create a shift in awareness, that gives rise to a new perspective and an altered consciousness is to break the ties with perception.

While I am capable of dreaming, stalking is my predilection. I have probably dreamed to the sixth gate of dreaming, in as much as I have woken up in a place I did not go to sleep. Waking up in broad day light some where you did not go to bed is a surprising act to say the least.

Within dreaming we learn much about ourselves and the world – the message as it is received is metaphorical, a reflection of our waking experience; a prognostication. The same being said of our waking experience of course. But only by bringing these worlds together can we hope to understand the message that nature sends…

..seeing energy as it flows through the universe

with the techniques that Don Juan taught this is all possible,

Don Juan stated that man exists within just one world; foolish to believe otherwise. And yet this world is constructed of many layers like an onion each layer an entirely separate world within itself. The “whole” is fragmented and broken down into myriad layers creating separate worlds of perception. And everything we experience is polar opposites – light and dark, night and day, male and female, waking and dreaming and so on.

This is the unravelling – the questioning of reality: are we experiencing duality or non-duality in actual fact? Well the trickster mind sees only a separation.

Everything is in reality is “ONE PARTICLE”- The original thought – the particle splits creating the infinite whole. Creation is a convergence and the splitting of the aspect of the ONE – ONE CONSCIOUSNESS so to speak, the ONE AWARENESS – broken down and fractured into myriad of layers – where ever you look the divergence occurs – the light is sent through a prism and we no longer experience everything as it is.

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INTENT is the driving force of evolution, the unfolding of reality and the nature of the UNIVERSE/MULTI-VERSE

Once we start tapping into intent – we are twirled – picked up by the force of the Spirit and flung into entirely new worlds – a difference attention then with a changed awareness – this is the shift; the movement into the 2nd attention. For me the world of the “tonal” or 1st attention as it is called ceased at this point. It fell away became unfamiliar, no longer home. With this shift, I was then in the world of the ‘unknown’ the 2nd attention or the “nagual.” And this is the place one must make your stand! We are confronted with the thought – of arrival and no way back. Only by realizing this can we make a viable experience of our existence. And knowing this we must continue into the unknowable with a chance at freedom – the ultimate goal.  So relentlessly we press on. Until there is another break and shift in reality – I found myself in the 3rd attention, the place of “silent knowledge” through stalking in the waking moment – as is my predilection.

But we occupy only one world. Dreaming then is an extension of the waking reality and only by merging these experiencing into ONE is there a way to continue back into the light of being. Reversing the prism, working back through to the beginning – sending the dreaming double the other way!

It is in dreaming that we discover our potential – and so in dreaming we realize the infinite nature of our being. But waking reality is the place where we stop the world – through a repeated breaking down and reconstituting of our existence. By collapsing the world – stopping the internal dialogue – smashing the mirror of our self-reflection and a great deal of recapitulation – we break the ties with perception. With detachment and sobriety we push on; personal power lending the force required to bring ourselves back together again. The waking and dreaming experience merge as we remember – recapitulating the whole of our being into the one. Creating an existence in both places. And bringing back integrity to the self.

The road is long and hard, and as with any long journey the only way is to put your head down and keep going. Perhaps with an initial burst of energy in the beginning – a blessing from the earth; a wishing you well and on your way to the place of infinity.

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Mescalito and the Allies

The ally is the spirit – the force that comes out at times of great stress in the life of the individual. The spirit can be beckoned and brought to the aid of a warrior in order for him to learn and to gain knowledge.

The ally can be thought of as a spirit helper.

The ally is an impersonal force; definitively a part of  what is termed the ‘nagual’ – the second attention of awareness, or that which is ‘unknown’.

Connection with the ally involves a ‘crack’ developing in the shell of man’s luminosity. The crack appears and at this time the ally steps through.

The spirit is revealed to the warrior as the gap between the worlds opens and the path becomes apparent.

Don Juan spoke of the ally as the power that originated in the plants he ingested. Among these was ‘Peyote’ whom he referred to as “Mescalito”. Mescalito however was not considered an ally but a power; a deity. There was ‘Datura'(jimson weed) also known as “yerba Del Diablo”, the second portion of which enabled the warrior to fly. And then there was the “little smoke” or ‘Humito’, psilocybin mushrooms which were ingested and smoked as a powder.

Don Juan named Mescalito as his teacher, protector, adviser and friend, while the allies he said were something that should be commanded. Humito was Don Juan’s preferred ally, he said that the effect was easier to handle as opposed to Datura which was more unpredictable.

These allies are a power a force to be reckoned with and respected and which were neither good nor bad.

The allies are formless, they are part of the abstract and as such are an invisible entity

The objective of the warrior is to tackle the ally – by adopting a fighting form, holding the earth with the feet and then jumping the ally bringing them to the earth. A characteristic of the allies is that they cannot ‘hang on’ and will relinquish their energy to the warrior eventually if he holds on.

The Allies are different in the respect that the warrior is seeking freedom, while the allies look to become enslaved and actually enjoy their captivity.

Warriors need a colossal amount of energy to sustain their world and the only available source of energy is that of the inorganic beings, so for this purpose an agreement can be struck with the allies/inorganic beings and the warrior gains the energy necessary.

The allies crave human awareness and so the trade is made, their energy for the awareness of the warrior. This bargain is a lifetime commitment however and the warrior will have to face his death in the knowledge that the ally looks on. This is the sorcerer’s agreement. It was also the agreement of the “tenant”(the sorcerer of antiquity who became trapped within the world of the inorganic beings and who attached himself to Don Juan’s lineage of sorcerers in a bid for freedom). It was the practice of the old seers to ‘dole out love to the allies. They also envisaged them somewhat aberrantly and believed the allies were human in characteristics, where as they are in fact totally alien to human energetic configurations, and possess an entirely different form of consciousness. However the allies are capable of great love and in response to the assistance they provide a warrior; they demand greater love in return.

Gaining an ally enables the warrior to stop the world, to see and provides him with the power required to travel to places never before dreamed of.

These beings also known as the ‘inorganic beings’ originate from another dimension. The realm of the ‘inorganic beings’ is said to be the world of “Sulphur” or the yellow world but the allies also have access to our dreams. They are the true sorcerers but their teachings are hard to master.

Moth

The Allies are guided by the rule, the same rule which the warrior is to fully comprehend if they are to become a man/woman of knowledge. The rule is an inviolable set of directives that the warrior much acquiesce to in order to pursue the path with heart.

A warrior will never become a man of knowledge without the aid of the ally, but through it he may learn to “see”. The relationship with the ally is everything to the warrior, and the ally provides the warrior with everything he requires. The warrior is capable of nothing without the ally – but with their help a warrior is able to transport himself through dreaming to inexplicable new worlds.

The ally is the voice that speaks to the warrior in dreaming and in waking life, it is the whispering guide.

The Second attention or Nagual is the battleground of the warrior – the place where one discovers ones ‘allies’, so to speak.

And the Nagual is the world into which the warrior is hurdled, the place where he finds himself when he tackles the ally and flies.

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The Ancestral Spirit

The western system is flawed; we are beginning to see evidence of a total system crash from economics to social unrest; with the developed world imploding in on itself. The world has finite resources and yet materialism demands production that cannot be sustained – blundering on at the risk of a complete environmental break down.Man works best in the tribal system. From the very beginning man formed into small tribal groups or bands and settled for this for a very long time. These tribal and clan systems grew up out of the need to organise in order to survive and from this developed into the indigenous systems we hear of today.

The people of the indigenous system, follow the shaman, in regard to their spiritual well-being. He recognises everything is an illusion. This in turn means nothing is of importance. Even the suffering of his fellow-man is not his concern unless he chooses to make it so. The shaman in connection with his ancestral spirit, knows that those he needs concern for are the people of his tribe. He is the one who guides, heals and protects the tribe from external forces. In this western world however we are separated from our tribe and tribal nature. And instead our tribal ‘urges’ are tapped and suppressed with such activities as supporting your local football team or other artificial enticements (too numerous to name). The world in which we live is divided, each ‘individual’ supporting his own interests, be it his team, political party, or whatever.

Often people say, it is important to know your roots – to know where you come from. This generally means knowing what region your name originates from or something about your home town or country. But to truly understand ‘who you are’, I would suggest takes dedication and discipline. In order to understand yourself, you must have some idea of the processes which lead to this present moment. In this modern age we are mostly cut off from the past; cast a drift in the dark seas of awareness.

In past ages man knew who he was by being aware of the hereditary lineage he was a part of. The ancestors were present. They could either be asked for advice or even sort for as guides. Knowledge would be passed down by word of mouth through stories and other means of transmission such as song or dance. Nothing was written – instead the oral tradition kept knowledge alive. With the advent of religion there was an inevitable fall into reason; a need to construct a means of organisation and things were written down for the first time. Once something is written it ceases being knowledge in a sense, and instead becomes ‘law’. When knowledge is acquired in the first place it has the capacity to be enlarged upon, developed to gain further understanding – to evolve! But once it is written it looses this ability.

Once religion took hold it was an obvious means of control for those who would wish to subvert the message. We arrive at the point today, where religion is empty and the rituals and ceremony reflect nothing of the true spirit of what early man ‘saw’ but are hollow gestures. If you go to any Anglican ‘high church’ service or maybe Catholic mass, you will see that all the pomp and ceremony is nothing but a reflection of the self-importance that it represents. The spirit I believe lost interest in religion a long time ago…

Religion is now the domain of man and his fruitless desires. Science has come along to de-construct the universe and while it still seeks knowledge, it does so in total isolation from the pressing issues troubling the planet. Religion and science while seeming to be avowed enemies, are in reality two halves of the same device. It is like the two-party state. The acquisition of knowledge has been divided into two camps: the first believing that everything is unfathomable mystery and nothing can be understood, while the other believes everything will someday succumb to its enquiry. Both are wrong and this duality causes only separation from the meaning of existence.

At this eleventh hour recognising our tribal nature is of vital importance. The Ancestral spirit is what connects us to the past, brings us into relationship with the present and maps a way to the future. At this time more than ever man needs to remember his ancestral nature, in order to return to the spirit and to save the planet from annihilation.